The Peanut Butter What?

When kids are learning how to talk, it's always entertaining to hear how they refer to things. If I were a better mom, I would have been documenting every moment of linguistic growth in a scrapbook and would be able to tell you every single funny thing that ever came out of Charlie's mouth, but since I'm normal and have other things to do, I can only tell you that, until the age of two, he referred to everything as a "da-da." And when we were headed somewhere in the car, Zach would always ask if we had to go "on the too-many-cars," which meant the freeway.

Since Zoe is the youngest, and our last child, we are determined to prolong some of her little kid qualities, have resisted the urge to correct the errors in her vocabulary and have actually encouraged her to continue referring to things incorrectly. For example:

Lemonade = Lemolade

Watermelon = Waterlemon

Yesterday/Last time = Lasterday/Yestertime

Flowers = Fowlers

The Park = The Whee

Accident = Asskident

Campfire = Fire camp

Basketball = Baksetball

Boobs = Boo Boos

Sneezing = bless-youing

About a week ago, Zoe and Charlie were playing together and since Zoe recently went through a growth spurt, she came dangerously close to nailing her brother in the nuts. I used this moment as an opportunity to teach her a new vocabulary word by saying, "Zoe, you need to be more careful and not hit your brother in the penis, because it hurts to get hit there. So aim higher, more toward his gut and away from his penis." Somehow, I managed to say this with a straight face.

Yesterday while Zoe and Charlie were playing again, I heard her say "Ooooh, that was a close one. I almost hit you in the peanut butter gut." I just stood there, trying to remember what Charlie ate for breakfast and was pretty sure that he ate eggs, bacon and toast -- without peanut butter. Why would she be calling him a peanut butter gut? After a couple minutes, she said it again: "Why does it hurt so much if I hit you in the peanut butter gut anyway?" That's when Charlie and I noticed what she was aiming at, looked at each other and started laughing.

She couldn't remember the exact word she had learned, but knew that it was located just below the gut and started with a "P," so obviously it must be called a peanut butter gut. In fact, I think I'll have that printed on a tee-shirt: "Don't Hit Your Brother in the Peanut Butter Gut."