Friday, April 30, 2010

What's that? No babysitter?

(Originally posted on 10/20/09)

A parent is faced with difficult decisions everyday and I try not to be hyper-critical of other moms because I know how hard it is. There's really only a few things -- choice of car, hairstyle, kindergarten girl's hooker wardrobe, exterior color of house, voluntarily eating iceberg lettuce -- that make me truly question some people's ability to make educated and logical decisions. One of the most frustrating of all, though, has to be what people choose to do when the babysitter cancels.

Basically, if you thought that the event/appointment was important enough to get a sitter for in the first place, stay with that frame of mind. Please don't start thinking "I'll just bring crayons and fruit snacks and I'm sure that no one will mind if I bring my adorable little Damian to tag along." Yes, we mind.

If you have a haircut appointment anywhere that doesn't start with Fantastic, Super, or Great, please just reschedule. Other women at the salon are paying large sums of money to both their stylist and their sitters for the luxury of spending an hour sitting in an obscenity-friendly, tantrum-free, snack-free zone. Those looks you get from them aren't saying "What a cute little angel, I could just pinch his cheek," but "Thanks a lot, mean lady. I'm going to make you pay my tip." They would've called you a bitch, but your kid is within earshot.

Headed to a movie after 7:30 that isn't rated PG? Seriously, for those people that used the excuse "it was a movie about puppets" when they were too lazy to get a sitter for "Team America," no one believes you. Again, other people + sitters + expensive tickets to a Coen brothers movie = you should really look into Netflix.

If you have dinner reservations, cancel them. What do you think take-out is for? There's a reason that not all restaurants have tic-tac-toe place mats and balloons. No where is it a law that all dining establishments have to be child-friendly and have chicken tenders stashed away in the freezer "just in case." Again, the other people in the restaurant have sitters and a lot of the women are wearing mascara for the first time in weeks, so please don't make them cry by ruining their evening away from their kids! Just think, you still get a night off from cooking, you save cash by not having to pay for the sitter and you get to control how much Captain goes into the Diet Coke. Because everyone knows you have Captain in the house, right next to the Corning Ware.

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