It's been an interesting week and in particular, it was a very interesting Thursday. Since I feel like there was enough drama before even the most irresponsible person was sitting on a bar stool, I've decided that it's a perfect time to remind people that, contrary to what some might think, I'm not always pissed off and hyper-critical. In fact, I'm generally a pretty optimistic and happy person and there are definitely some things (and people) in life that make me smile more than others.
So, I'm going to take a little break from picking on people (at least for a few hours, but maybe for the entire weekend) and since the weather forecast includes sunshine, blooming flowers and mild temperatures, maybe that will encourage the inconsiderate assholes of the world to take a short hiatus from being their, um, assholeish-selves too.
(The Mean Mom Gives Thanks: Originally posted on 11/26/09, a/k/a Thanksgiving)
At some point today, I'll take a break from the gluttony and carb inhalation, put down the gravy boat, and think about what I'm thankful for. There are the obvious answers: my family, health, indoor plumbing, the fact that Williams Sonoma now sells a citrus wedger "for professional looking cocktail garnishes," and unlimited texting on our cell phone plan. But there are other little luxuries, people and events in my day-to-day existence that deserve a little recognition and appreciation too.
- The power sliding doors on my minivan.
- Birth control
- Restaurant coupons
- Wide-width shoes with low heels.
- The "Need Cocktail" flag on the back of my chair when I'm on vacation.
- Skinny cocktail straws
- Store-bought ice
- Lucky jeans and Mini Boden
- When the five-year-old, from her booster seat, yells "Come on! Green means go!" at the car in front of us.
- The fine line between OCD and being hyper-organized, ADHD and efficient multi-tasker, control freak and not-quite-a-control freak.
- Noodles & Co.
- The fact that when my boys ask for grilled cheese, they mean Swiss cheese and corned beef on pumpernickel.
- Birth control
- A happy hour that includes 2-4-1's.
- French fries at the happy hour that includes 2-4-1's.
- My husband's (dark) sense of humor.
- Garbage day at 7:30 AM
- Byerly's delivery/drive-thru grocery service, which includes booze.
- A best friend that shares a brain with me.
- Full fat salad dressing
- Michele Bachmann, because no matter how bad or dumb I feel on any given day, at least I'm better and smarter than her.
- 93X, especially in the morning.
- My eyes, and their ability to say so many things without me having to actually utter a word.