Friday, March 26, 2010

Loss Of Identity

To say that I have done a great job of maintaining my independence and have several unique interests that are in no way connected to my kids is a bunch of crap. Like a lot of other SAHMs, the only time I'm seen doing something that isn't kid- or family-related is when I'm working out at the club or drinking at a bar, and even then it's pretty likely that my kids are on the tennis court or at the table with me. As a result, a lot of people know me because of my kids so it seems that I'm always associated with their names. Sometimes I go days without hearing my actual name, and instead am referred to as "Charlie/Zach/Zoe's mom."

A couple days ago while I was running errands I got caught off-guard and couldn't avoid having to talk to another mom. After she said "Hi Zoe's mom!" the first thing she told her daughter was "Oh, you remember Zoe's mommy, don't you?" (To be fair, I have no idea what her name is either, because I barely know her and every time she has told me her name all I hear is "blah blah blah" because I'm never able to focus on anything besides her out-of-control hair and the fact that she wears mom jeans.) I looked at the girl and said "Hi, I'm Jody." She said "Hi, Zoe's mom."

Last night while we were in the car, Zach started talking about girl names. More specifically, he was telling me about the girl names he doesn't like, which include pretty much all names that start with the letter J. "Jane, Jill, Julie -- any time I hear a name that starts with 'J' -- I picture a freaky-faced spaz that acts weird and bizarre. Someone strange and completely annoying."

"Oh, kind of like the name Jody?" At this point I was trying to decide which was worse: That my name brands me as a bizarre weirdo, or that my kid forgot my name.

"Yeah. Or, oh. Um, that one's not as bad." So I got that going for me -- my name is not as bad.

I guess being known as "Zoe's mom" isn't such a bad thing. After all, it's a hell of a lot better than "Hi, my name is Freaky-Faced-Spaz-Who-Is-Completely-Annoying Adkins."


Betsy R-K said...

When I was a kid I started ranting to my mom, "Why would anyone name their kid Mary? That's the most boring name in the whole world. There's not a worse name than Mary." Her response was to remind me that her name was Mary. (I'd forgotten because she normally went by her middle name.)

Anonymous said...

I could have named you Sylvia G%$# Jr.........but having been Jess or Jeff or Jody's mom for so damn many years I know what you mean. WHO the hell am I - just Mrs. Joe NOW -- chin up it stays the same only the goal posts move! mom