When Zach brought home all of the information from his various classes at the beginning of the school year, I made a list of all the supplies needed for each class. In addition to the standard items like notebooks, folders and pencils, he needed colored pencils, a flash drive, a TI30 calculator, graph paper and combination locks. Surprisingly, though, the class requiring the most expensive supplies turned out to be choir.
There are three choir concerts during the school year and the boys are required to wear black pants, a white dress shirt, a tie and dress shoes to these concerts. Because he plays in several piano recitals each year, Zach is unlucky enough to already own a pair of dress shoes, which is lucky for me since I hate shoe shopping for my boys and the choir teacher has pointed out no fewer than half-a-dozen times that no tennis shoes are allowed. I headed to Target to find the shirt and pants and judging by the depleted stock of size 14 black pants and XL white shirts, I was not the only one spending over $50 on two articles of clothing that would be worn exactly three times before they were outgrown.
Imagine my surprise when the rehearsals for the second concert started and Zach brought me a note from the choir teacher saying that gee, the kids are working really hard and learning new songs for the Disney-themed concert and gosh, wouldn't it be fun and wacky if the kids all wore matching t-shirts with a Disney logo on them for the low price of $10? I thought, um, of course it wouldn't. I have a perfectly good pair of almost-new black pants and a white shirt hanging in the kid's closet specifically for choir concerts. I even ironed goddammit!
Assuming it would be useless for me to complain, I filled out the t-shirt order form, wrote out the check using my 24-pt. "I'm Annoyed" font and handed it to Zach. It was then that I noticed that I could be generous and offer to pay for one, two, or even more shirts for other kids who may not have the financial means to purchase an extra shirt at this time. Okay, so if the school thought that some families might be financially inconvenienced by having to purchase a $10 t-shirt after they've already bought the previously required dress pants, shirt and dress shoes, wouldn't a person with as little as 25% brain function think maybe the matching $10 t-shirt idea is stupid? I guess this says a lot about his choir teacher.
I didn't offer to pay for any additional shirts because I was hoping that if enough kids didn't turn in their order forms and money maybe they would chuck the whole idea into the incinerator and just let the kids wear whatever they already owned. Unfortunately this did not happen and Zach brought the shirt home on Tuesday, the day of the concert:
After the concert I asked Zach what he wanted to do with this fine piece of blue apparel and he said to just throw it away, but I'm thinking that maybe I'll add it to the same pile that my dog shit-stained Gap sweats are in. I'm also prepared to shop for another dress shirt and pair of black pants for the May concert since, due to Zach's growth spurt, I'm pretty sure he's outgrown the one-time-worn pants hanging in his closet. Oh, and if I haven't mentioned this before, I am ready for this school year to be over.