Well, I found her. At least I think I did. And she is now my Least Favorite Person In The World (LFPITW).
While listening to the radio yesterday morning (I won't say the station name, because I don't want to do free advertising for KDWB), the LFPITW called in and was complaining about the fact that Dave Ryan said "he was starving," and "Oh my goodness! How could you use such an offensive term! There are people in the world that don't have any food, and are actually starving! You're a horrible person if you use that term in an attempt to be funny! Don't make fun of such a bad situation. I don't think the starving people think it's very funny!"
Fortunately, what seemed like the entire staff at this unnamed radio station (that rhymes with "Hey bee, how-do-you see?") jumped on this woman and called her an uptight moron, and suggested that maybe she should pull the stick out of her butt.
They wondered if she was also offended by such phrases as "I'm going to kill you, I'm so mad I could kick a baby," or "I feel like punching a toddler." Yes, the LFPITW was offended.
She claimed that since young people listen to their show and are easily influenced, they should make an effort to be less offensive and not make fun of starving people. After all, it's not worth offending someone just to be funny! They explained to her that the majority of their listeners could hear these expressions without taking them seriously, getting upset, or going out and laughing at a starving person begging for money because, unlike the LFPITW, they're not stupid.
I'm thinking about calling the radio station (651-989-KDWB) and getting the LFPITW's contact information so I can send her The Mean Mom blog. I'm sure she wouldn't be offended by any of the drug, alcohol, or child-beating references.
Okay, gotta run. I should probably put some concealer on Charlie's black eye before he goes to school. Believe me, nothing ruins a Thursday faster than a visit from child protective services. Plus, I need to eat some breakfast, because I'm absolutely starving.