Doing Drugs

A few days ago I woke up with a little allergy/asthma related cough, so I inhaled a couple puffs of Albuterol. It managed to help my coughing, but it also made me dizzy, gave me a sore throat and in addition, I couldn't get to sleep.

To deal with the sleep issues, I took an Ambien. But the Ambien gave me even more of a sore throat, a stuffy nose, made me feel anxious and caused my face to swell up.

I can handle having a fat face, but figured I better deal with the anxiety. So in my dizzy, sluggish, groggy state, I took a Zoloft.

The Zoloft took away my anxiety, but then I just felt irritable, hostile, tired, and on top of it all, it gave me diarrhea. I also had no desire to have sex, but I don't know if this was because of the Zoloft or because of the diarrhea.

To treat the diarrhea, I angrily stomped to the medicine cabinet (while managing to not catch a glimpse of my fat face in the mirror) and took an Imodium, which ended up making me constipated and headachy. Figuring I should just go to sleep to get rid of the headache and let nature and time cure my digestive disturbance, I took another Ambien.

This time, the Ambien left me with a dry mouth and made me extremely thirsty so after all of the drugs were finally out of my system, I decided to just drink a beer.

Wouldn't you know, the beer cured everything and after two more, I felt perfect.