The Brown Stain

An inevitable topic of conversation that every parent will have to deal with is potty training. I hate talking about it, because arguing about the best potty training technique is like debating the best way to order a margarita. Some people voluntarily choose the high maintenance approach (passion fruit, blended, sugar rim, umbrella), some like to buy an expensive little toilet and 42 cases of pull-ups (Patron, Grand Marnier, freshly squeezed lime juice), and some like to keep the process as basic as possible (pre-mixed jug, on the rocks). The end result is always the same though; the kid quits using diapers and the margarita budget gets a little bigger.

Fortunately for me, I'm a basic girl and the boys potty trained without much fanfare. They still have occasional issues with the aiming thing, but I have never had to find a public bathroom every 20 minutes or haul around extra underwear and pants. They've never had an accident in public, and I have yet to receive a call from school informing me to bring new clothes. Now that they are in 6th grade and junior high, it better stay this way.

Getting Zoe to ditch the diapers was a bit trickier, but then everything about her has required a little extra effort and patience. She didn't leave any puddles at pre-school last year and I don't anticipate having to deal with one in kindergarten, but I've learned to never get too confident.

Yesterday was "Pajama Day" at school, and I had bought Zoe a pair of polka-dot fleece pajamas for the big event. After a quiet morning, I went to meet her bus at noon and saw the stain even before both of her feet were on the pavement. A huge brown smudge, right in the crotch area. I wondered if I had somehow missed/ignored a call from school, and prepared myself for the eruption of tears, the accusations of "Thanks a lot mom! I pooped my pants! You fed me too much fruit and dairy!" Instead, she skipped home, telling me about her day, how she read a book to the class, and: "Oh yeah. The teacher brought s'mores for everyone and I got chocolate on my pajamas. Right here. But that's why you do laundry, right? Oh, and Joe got in trouble today. Can I have a peanut butter sandwich?"

I was very relieved to know that I was only dealing with a chocolate stain, and realized that even if she does have an accident at school it's really no big deal, because kids at school are really forgiving, they never tease, and they never, ever call people names. Right?