If That's The Look You're Going For

The flat tire on my minivan was probably a sign. The fact that my neighbor who was kind enough to give me a ride (she was going anyway) was at risk of running out of gas on the freeway was definitely another sign. But I ignored all of it, subjected myself to the Miley Cyrus concert, and I can safely say that my daughter, unlike 96% of the other fans, was not dressed like a whore.

I know that it's difficult to buy cute clothes for girls, specifically a 5 year old that weighs 31 pounds and has no ass. It's almost impossible to find something that doesn't say "Daddy's Little Princess" or have bears, bows, balloons, or bears wearing bows holding balloons on it. One walk through the aisles of Kohl's results in nothing but scratchy fabrics in Pepto Bismol pink, gathers at the shoulders, shirts printed with kittens and glittery hearts, and yes, even some of the dreaded eyelet lace. I don't think I'm being unreasonable, wanting to find something for my kid to wear that won't get her beat up on the playground.

As I discovered last night, though, apparently the main goal of some girls is "I want to wear something that will get me picked up on the playground." I don't consider myself naive, prudish, or completely clueless, but maybe your daughter shouldn't be wearing a size 6X miniskirt when she's actually a woman's size 10. The number of exposed guts (yes, I said guts), sleeveless tops, black leather boots with platform heels, and ass-exposing skirts eventually overwhelmed me and I had to self-medicate with alcohol. I was grateful for the fact that I had a friend by my side that was willing to take the same approach.

The saddest thing for me was that it probably wasn't long ago that the majority of these girls played with stuffed animals, could put in their own pony tail binder, and were genuinely excited to finger paint. Now, someone knowingly lets them wear false eyelashes, makeup, and a Bump-It wedged into the back of their hair. And since when does a 7 year old wear a black lace bra?

Earlier in the day, I had asked Zoe if she wanted to go shopping so we could buy her a new shirt for the concert. She gave me a bewildered look and said "Um. No. I have shirts in my closet. Even one with a sparkly star on it. I don't need a new shirt. I don't want to go shopping." Now I know for sure that Daddy's Little Princess is being brainwashed by her father.