Saturday, October 31, 2009

Creative Packaging

Over the last couple decades, Doug and I have had the pleasure of attending several concerts and sporting events, and the displeasure of paying $7.00 for a beer way too many times. I know that some people will say that it's possible to enjoy a hockey game without drinking, and obviously those people are crazy and need to do a couple Jello shots.

Before the days of full body pat-downs and bag searches, we would occasionally put a couple beers in our coat pockets. This technique had it's seasonal limitations, and often resulted in warmish, foamy beer since I have a tendency to skip down sidewalks.

Once we had kids and started taking them to some of the events, and I was hauling a ginormous tote/other people's shit/diaper bag, I started smuggling in juice boxes, Twizzlers, a bag of peanuts, crackers, etc. Technically you're not supposed to bring outside food into any venue because they want you to spend, spend, spend, but I have yet to come across a security guy that can look at my kid that has been well-trained to look sorrowful and say no.

More recently, this bag has been used to smuggle not only fruit snacks, but vodka. But since you can't just drop in the handle jug from Costco and walk through the gates, the packaging requires a little bit of creativity. I've used a refillable water bottle a couple times, and if the kids are with me it works. But Metallica was a different story.

It turns out that the security guys at a Metallica concert are kind of suspicious of everyone. Since I was hauling a giant momma tote bag, but had no kids with me, I suppose I looked extra guilty. He found my water bottle, which was wrapped in a sweater, in record speed and after I pleaded with him and tried to convince him that it really was just water, he pointed me toward the nearest garbage can and told me to throw it out. Doug just stood behind me, trying to hide his shame. As my girlfriend and I sadly walked toward the garbage can, she noticed a ticket line right by us that had no security and shoved me toward it. The vodka was stuffed back into the bag, the tickets were scanned, and we were good to go. Did this moment make me proud? Absolutely. We just saved at least $60 on cocktails!

After this incident, though, I realized that I needed to step up my efforts. After a little brainstorming with one of my husband's employees (yes, he has kick-ass employees), we came across the perfect vessel...a tampon box. Six 3 oz. refillable plastic bottles fit in the box, leaving just enough room for a bag of wedged limes. I filled four of the bottles with vodka, two with gin (clearly labeled, of course), and re-sealed the box shut with some double-face tape. I put it in the bottom of my bag, threw in some trail mix and Fun Dip's and after admiring the results, patted myself on the back. It was perfect.

During the Miley concert, one of my guy friends wanted to make a drink. It was great watching him fish through a tampon box to find the vodka like it was perfectly normal, and of course there are limes too!

Yes, my kids know that mom is sneaking in booze and I hope they're paying attention to the techniques being used, because when their old enough to drink, think of the money they'll save.


Tessa said...

I really could have used this technique last night at the Wild Game - instead I drank the warm expensive tap beer and have a headache today. : )

Anonymous said...

I guess I haven't gone anywhere for such a long time - didn't know they pat you down now. How about at a movie - can I still sneak a can of pop in my coat pocket?