Yesterday, while Zoe was reading a book, I thought I would get a jump start on this Daily Resolution thing with something simple: I resolve to pee by myself today, with the bathroom door shut. Sure enough, as soon as I sat down, I heard Zoe's heels digging into the flooring (what is it about the acoustics of kid's feet anyway? Why are they so loud?).
"Mom! Hey mommy? Where are you? I need help with this word! MOM!?"
Thinking about the resolution I had just made, I created another resolution: I will not yell today.
"Umm, hey Zoe," I said in my best I'm-so-freakin'-happy mom voice. "I'm in the bathroom, and am a little busy right now. You need to wait a few seconds, or find a brother and ask him."
"What? I can't hear you? Where are you? I need you to help me with a word!" Apparently I needed to speak up a little.
"I said I'm in the bathroom. You need to wait. Okay?" I still wasn't yelling, and even though I was having a (loud) conversation through the door, technically I was still in the bathroom by myself.
Suddenly, the doorknob turned and the door flew open. "Oh, there you are! You're in the bathroom! Help me with this word, S-O-M-E-T-I-M-E-S."
"It says sometimes. Like sometimes I would like to be able to pee. By myself. Without someone hunting me down and forcing me into having to talk while I pee. And sometimes it would be really cool if people could recognize a closed door and the sound of someone peeing and WAIT FOR ME TO FINISH!" I realized I was yelling, and that I was, in fact, not in the bathroom by myself anymore.
Screw the daily resolutions. Maybe I should consider 15-minute increments instead.