Friday, December 11, 2009

Home + School = Are You Crazy?

After today, the kids have one week of school left before the two-week winter break begins. I love this break, almost as much as I love the day that they return to school in January, and I love that day almost as much as the first day of school in September. Experiencing these joyous moments are something that homeschool families miss out on.

There are some things that I've said I will never do (use bribery, yell in public, drink schnapps, buy toy weapons, double-dip a chip) that are obviously unrealistic and were prematurely promised. One thing that I can honestly say that I will never do, though, is homeschool my kids. I know that people have a variety of reasons for homeschooling (insanity being #1), and I have several reasons why I won't be completing a registration form for the Minnesota Homeschoolers' Alliance 2010 Annual Conference.
  1. The kids are building important communication and debate skills every time I tell them, "Talk to your teacher about it."
  2. I wouldn't want to ruin the excitement created by the rare snow day.
  3. They'd miss out on learning how to manage the crowds and extreme body odor found exclusively in locker bays.
  4. I like my Monday mornings just the way they are.
  5. I can't get them to take out the garbage or remember to floss. There's no way in hell they would listen to me as their teacher.
  6. The math/science lessons should probably be more extensive than "1 oz. mixer + 2 oz. booze, blend with ice."
  7. The thought of organizing a school environment in my home gives me anxiety.
  8. Would I get a property tax reduction? I didn't think so.
  9. They need to be exposed to a variety of germs to build up their immune systems. Licking the shopping cart handles at Target just attracts unwanted attention, and doesn't make you as sick as you'd think.
  10. They like being with their friends, and I love hearing the "you won't believe what happened at lunch" stories.
  11. I may be insane, but I'm not that insane.
Maybe I'm being a little premature when I say I won't be attending the MHA 2010 Annual Conference, since I see that it's scheduled for a Saturday in September. I'll be looking for a reason to get out of the house and away from the kids, and I'm sure the other attendees would appreciate my math/science curriculum.

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