I've Heard Enough

All moms have the same complaint -- the kids never listen. After repeating ourselves over and over again, saying the same things time and time again, it always ends in the same result: the garbage doesn't get taken out, items get left behind, the shoes aren't on the feet on time and bedtime always arrives with a surprise.

I know my kids get sick of hearing me repeat myself, yell, nag, sigh with exasperation and stomp around the house and the truth is, I'm tired of hearing them say a lot of things too.

Things I'd Be Happy

To Never Hear Come Out

Of My Kids' Mouths

Ever Again

• You never bring me anything good to drink/buy me cool stuff/let me stay up late/say yes.
• What are you talking about?
• I don't want to right now. Maybe later.
• I said okay, okay? OKAY!
• Yeah, sure. Wait, what? I wasn't listening.
• I don't need you.
• Oops, I forgot the ____ at home/at the club/at school.
• What's the big deal anyway?
• Have a spaz, why don't you!
• I want some/buy me this/can I have it/I need this.
• It's not fair.
• Hey, did you know that when you waved at Jenna's mom your arm kind of shook like an old lady arm? Weird.
• I forgot to tell you about the science project due tomorrow/crappy grade on my math test/that I broke a string on my tennis racquet.
• I know I know I know I know I know I know. I KNOW!
• That really wasn't that funny.
• Oh, so that's what's for dinner...

So here's the deal, if they stop saying even a few of these phrases, then I'll make an effort to stop ranting and raving about the full garbage can, the homework, the failure to wake up on time and the inability to remember what time we leave for piano lessons on Mondays.

Actually, on second thought, scratch that last one, because after enough weeks and years of piano lessons, even a complete moron should be able to remember what time we leave.