Happy Birthday Smelly Old Dog

Even though I am able to exterminate goldfish in a matter of hours, and despite the absence of canine therapists, nutritionists, psychics, holistic healers and massage therapists, as of today I have managed to keep our dog, Cosmo, alive for fifteen years.

I have written about our dog before (like here, here and here), and since his daily schedule is pretty consistent (wake up, eat, go outside, come in, fall asleep, walk around putting nose on people, fall asleep, eat, go outside, fall asleep, go outside 14 times until treat is issued, fall asleep) there aren't many new stories to share.

So instead of bitching (yet again) about the dog and his excessive body odor, bad breath and inability to always defecate outside, I'll just say thank you, Cosmo, for giving me a justifiable reason to party it up tonight. After all, everyone likes to see their friends and family members having fun on their birthday, right?! In fact, I'm pretty sure that if Cosmo could speak using something besides "Bark, Bark" he would say something like "If I had opposable digits, carried a wallet and understood the monetary system, I would buy that woman a drink because, unlike the goldfish Hank and Sophia, she hasn't killed me yet!"

Happy birthday, Smelly Old Dog. Maybe I'll find the time to give you a bath today so that, at least for a little while, you'll just be Old Dog.