The Mean Mom's
Chart of Everyday Equivalents
3 tsp.......................................1 Tbsp
2 Tbsp.....................................1 ounce
1 ounce...................................you're kidding, right?
2 ounces..................................yes, please
4 ounces..................................five winter weekdays
16 ounces................................five summer weekdays
___ ounces...............................a weekend
1 week.....................................8 loads of laundry
2 loads of laundry......................oh yeah, I forgot about the sheets
3 kids......................................1 minivan
1 minivan.................................I'm a dork
waiting in the minivan................slice of hell
1 - 13 year old..........................25 daily eye rolls
Ten eye rolls.............................1 smack on the head
1 game of Monopoly...................a suicidal mom
shoveling the driveway................2 shots of vodka
mowing the lawn........................2 Corona Lights
sitting in a lawn chair..................4 Coronas, and 2 shots of vodka
4 tennis lessons.........................2 forgotten water bottles
3 science projects......................5 trips to JoAnn, 17 swear words
shopping at Target.....................not shopping at WalMart
happy hour with best friend.........1 visit to the psychiatrist
1-week vacation.........................25 visits to the psychiatrist
4 texts to/from kid......................15 second phone conversation
phone conversation with kid.........hahahahahaha, that's a good one
3 "shoots".................................1 "shit"
3 "shits"....................................1 "fuck"
2 "fucks"...................................1 hour at the grocery store
1 - five year old.........................7 daily debates
7 daily debates..........................7 ounces
1 clean house............................fantasy/fiction
Sunday - Friday.........................6 dinners cooked
Saturday.................................."Check, please"
1 comment:
That's awesome. Sorry, that's all I got for you. I loved it.
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